Famous Anus: Stories From a Decade Under the Sinfluence

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It was a very long time ago and I thought it was the most incredible thing in the history of the world and thought no one else could do it, almost like a secret power. Used to do it all the time and then slowed it down, because it was getting weird.’ I knew it! I just knew it!" he exploded. "Why didn't you ask me how I might feel?" Without giving his mother a chance to answer Kenny grabbed his schoolbooks and rushed out of the room.

Him: yeah but that’ll come out easy. It’s the cue ball in there that I need you to get out for me.” Saw this one in surgery. Patient presented with a huge mass of plastic in their butt, about 5 inches across. It took myself and another scrub tech with four pairs of these to drag it out. We had them in the OR in case removing it perforated the rectum.

Of course, the couple could not really explain what had happened, but at this point, it wasn’t necessary at all I once had a guy tell me he ‘slipped and fell in the shower’ as his reason for having a Sky remote control lodged in his large intestine.”

We all just assumed as usual he was full of shit (in addition to hairspray) and he probably did it to himself. However, a couple weeks later, a different guy comes in with the same brand of hairspray and a nearly identical story. The following is from Amy Bonnaffons' collection, The Wrong Heaven . The characters in The Wrong Heaven seek to solve their conflicts and dilemmas, both spiritual and sexual, in all the wrong places. Amy Bonnaffons' work has appeared in The New York Times , The Wall Street Journal , and The Kenyon Review , among others, and has been read on This American Life . She lives in Athens, GA, where she is working on a PhD.

In this tender period piece, a woman in a Puritan society is falsely accused of being a witch and is put on trial. (7,555 words.) At the end of the day, when it comes to anal sex, do what makes your body feel good. And don’t give up if your first attempt isn't immediately wonderful: This type of play can have a bit of a learning curve, so go at your own pace, communicate with your partner, and enjoy the ride. TL;DR : Stop making excuses, everybody knows you didn’t fall on it, you’re just embarrassing yourself further.”